I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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