She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
