you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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