big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
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