Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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