shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
