I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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