are you still at the devil's house?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
