it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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