i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
