Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
