I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
