just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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