he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
