I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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