It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
