we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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