My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
