I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
