You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
