I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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