worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
