wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
