If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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