and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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