she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
