____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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