so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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