i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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