he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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