How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We talked him into tasing himself.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
