Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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