Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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