i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
