Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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