I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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