My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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