I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
