i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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