you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
