Pappa wants mamma naked
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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