i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
