I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize