North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
40s are totally the cure
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
