don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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