I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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