Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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