its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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