? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
