so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
