I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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