just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Alive.
So much puke
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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