you're like a bully in the Christmas story
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
