Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
