its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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