So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
