Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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