I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sorry about my life...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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