i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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