She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
